I start every morning with coffee and three written pages
Though I wasn’t born to it, disciplined is what I must be
For if you hunger to put pen to paper to draw wages
You’ve got to pay your dues because those accolades don’t come free
Someday, I’ll be enough.
Next it’s on to kids, cooking, the same house chores I did before
I’ve had it to here with chaos reeked from my toddler boys
Lacking in balance of love and rod for ages three and four
The joy from this season of my life is under dirt and noise
One day, I’ll be enough.
I’ve listened to him vent about a job I cannot control
When words of support or reality only make it worse
He always finds the task that means I didn’t fulfill my role
An accomplishment on my part gives him more reason to curse
Maybe, I’ll be enough.
Amidst all this failure I find myself behind some black cows
Lazy witches but the work makes me feel needed and happy
One day, I’ll be able to cowboy with my heros I vow
Just stand strong despite the nay-sayers and keep yourself scrappy
Hoping, I’ll be enough.
Every day, lies are shared about this life on stage and on line
Not my job to right them but I can’t just sit idly by
While my truth is silenced by lack of makeup and a fake shine
So I’ll just keep working, carrying the burden of bad guy
Never will be enough.
Now the search turns inward to finally make myself complete
To look past the noise and the negativity to find me
Being wife, mother or career woman is no easy feat
Much less the strength and grace it takes to carefully balance three
For me, I am enough.
Enough is 100% each and every day at dawn
Enough is the courage to never quit, even when it hurts
Enough is handling stock and people with brains over of brawn
Enough is claiming, without shame, my place on the high desert
I’ve always been enough.
Enough, Jessica Hedges, copyright 2017.
By Jessica Hedges, copyright 2017